The Twisted Rantings of the Dantelope

I admit to being somewhat of a telvision-aholic. Blame ReplayTV or TiVO or whatever PVR technology you choose. I find my fanny in the leather dimples of our couch more often than I can believe.

In my previous post, I lamented about the fall of heroes. Here, I want to talk about the rise of hereos. But... I mean the show Heroes, which has gotten my attention and kept it since the pilot. For those that aren't familiar, think X-Men but where the affected mutants don't quite understand their own talents and everyone seems to have a predestined purpose.

Now let me start by saying that I love this show. And let me continue by saying I hate this show. The concept is fantastic and the actors are superbly chosen. Each character is being fully developed (well, everyone except the bad guys) and I am captiviated like a small child in a candy store.

Unfortunately, there are some serious flaws to this show. Specifically:

• Adherence to destiny bothers the hell out of me.
  
• Everyone in the damn show seems to have a power.
  
• Mohinder's character is a waste and lately he seems to have the bulk of the focus.

The destiny thing gets old fast. When you know what happens in the end, what's the point of watching? Luckily, the writers seem to have realized this and are starting to put some twists in -- like showing us that someone dies but then .. oh, just kidding, not really. Nice.

Why does everyone have to have a power? With everyone involved in the show suddenly displaying some mutant ability, it's starting to feel like normal people are the minority. And it defeats the shock of the abilities of others. Kind of like when XMen III came out and all it seemed to be was a massive coming together of every power the writers could think of. Boooooring.

And what is with Mohinder? He has no power (or does he?) and he's useless to the plot and he's an idiot to boot. I'm sick to death of him. Did the producers need to capture the Indian TV market or something? Blah. Please. Kill him off and do it soon.

If I were on the show, my power would be that I can make people laugh so hard they pee in their pants. And then I steal their wallets. Also, I would naturally hunt and decimate the mime population. But that would be obvious...

Dantelope @ im-stuck-in-the-matrix-come-save-me

Labels: heroes, tv

Growing up, I used to think it couldn't get any better. On a cold but bright sunny day in Michigan, my mother went into the store to get something, and I remember listening to the radio. Michael Jackson's Billie Jean was playing and I swore to myself, "it just can't get any better!" As if music had reached the pinnacle of creation and was destined to a downward spiral of filth and plagarized material.

I guess, depending on how you feel about the 90's and 2k's, I may have been right. Alas, I digress.

It's true that I idolized a number of entertainers. Singers. Actors. Entertainers.

Like Michael. A boy who showed the world that age was no match for the passion of music and dance. A boy who grew up into a megastar, climaxing in my world with Thriller. A boy who grew up into one of the sickest, most disgusting, financially irresponsible, pedophile single parents that has ever walked the earth.

Like Mel. A man who exposed to the audience the very essence of a successful male. Good looking, capable of making us laugh, cry, be afraid, or even desire to change the world. A man who has, as of late, exposed a deep love of alcohol that extends above and beyond all of his other traits, and a neat habit of blaming the Jews for everything.

In fact, I could go on. Lord knows these two aren't the only ones. But the truth is it's just quite sad. So many of my heroes have turned out to be paper angels. Folks who, when the camera was finally allowed to see the real person, simply turned out so different from their PR-facing alter egos that the human mind could simply not manage the travesty of it all.

When heroes fall, innocence and hope are not far behind.

--- Dantelope @ at-least-we-have-billy-joel-oh-wait-no-we-dont

I am, by no means, an animal rights activist. I mean, sure, that might get me closer to Pam Anderson, but then she'd probably be pretty fug in real life and my nighttime fantasy dreams would come to an end leaving me a bitter old shell of a man. And that's just no fun.

But when I -- like the good citizen I am, -- went out to vote today I was shocked to discover that one of our ballot measures was this juicy tidbit:

DOVE HUNTING REFERENDUM A REFERENDUM ON PUBLIC ACT 160 OF 2004 – AN ACT TO ALLOW THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A HUNTING SEASON FOR MOURNING DOVES Public Act 160 of 2004 would: Authorize the Natural Resources Commission to establish a hunting season for mourning doves. Require a mourning dove hunter to have a small game license and a $2.00 mourning dove stamp. Stipulate that revenue from the stamp must be split evenly between the Game and Fish Protection Fund and the Fish and Wildlife Trust Fund. Require the Department of Natural Resources to address responsible mourning dove hunting; management practices for the propagation of mourning doves; and participation in mourning dove hunting by youth, the elderly and the disabled in the Department’s annual hunting guide.

I said wtf? I mean... mourning doves??? Welcome to Michigan. With the rest of the nation enjoying an upswing in economy and the lowest unemployment rate in a long time, Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in a long time, and has seen over a quarter million jobs walk off. We have one of the most violent cities in the country. Our downtown is a serious joke, where you can go to see a sports event or a car show or take in the opera or a play, but then immediately get the hell out of there before you are killed.

SO... I began, as I usually do, by wondering if perhaps I had missed something. Hunting mourning doves sounds about as challenging as shooting a bar of soap. Granted, we have some real winners here in this state who probably couldn't even accomplish that, but I digress.

Next, I asked the logical follow-up. Why did Britney Spears wait so long to dump that fug pile of compost, KFed? Yeah... my ability to care about politics was drastically shortened by the idiocy of hunting birds whose brains are only slightly larger than KFed's...

---- Dantelope @ if-only-voting-were-nearly-as-fun-as-entertainment-gossip