Tuesday, November 07, 2006
The Hunt for Red November
I am, by no means, an animal rights activist. I mean, sure, that might get me closer to Pam Anderson, but then she'd probably be pretty fug in real life and my nighttime fantasy dreams would come to an end leaving me a bitter old shell of a man. And that's just no fun.
But when I -- like the good citizen I am, -- went out to vote today I was shocked to discover that one of our ballot measures was this juicy tidbit:
I said wtf? I mean... mourning doves??? Welcome to Michigan. With the rest of the nation enjoying an upswing in economy and the lowest unemployment rate in a long time, Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in a long time, and has seen over a quarter million jobs walk off. We have one of the most violent cities in the country. Our downtown is a serious joke, where you can go to see a sports event or a car show or take in the opera or a play, but then immediately get the hell out of there before you are killed.
SO... I began, as I usually do, by wondering if perhaps I had missed something. Hunting mourning doves sounds about as challenging as shooting a bar of soap. Granted, we have some real winners here in this state who probably couldn't even accomplish that, but I digress.
Next, I asked the logical follow-up. Why did Britney Spears wait so long to dump that fug pile of compost, KFed? Yeah... my ability to care about politics was drastically shortened by the idiocy of hunting birds whose brains are only slightly larger than KFed's...
---- Dantelope @ if-only-voting-were-nearly-as-fun-as-entertainment-gossip
But when I -- like the good citizen I am, -- went out to vote today I was shocked to discover that one of our ballot measures was this juicy tidbit:
DOVE HUNTING REFERENDUM A REFERENDUM ON PUBLIC ACT 160 OF 2004 – AN ACT TO ALLOW THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A HUNTING SEASON FOR MOURNING DOVESPublic Act 160 of 2004 would:
|
SO... I began, as I usually do, by wondering if perhaps I had missed something. Hunting mourning doves sounds about as challenging as shooting a bar of soap. Granted, we have some real winners here in this state who probably couldn't even accomplish that, but I digress.
Next, I asked the logical follow-up. Why did Britney Spears wait so long to dump that fug pile of compost, KFed? Yeah... my ability to care about politics was drastically shortened by the idiocy of hunting birds whose brains are only slightly larger than KFed's...
---- Dantelope @ if-only-voting-were-nearly-as-fun-as-entertainment-gossip
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Hee hee hee!!!
I'm not the only one that reads that crap!!! I am a closet 'popculturephile'
Keep up the awesome posts. I love your sense of humor, and the way your mind works!
P.S. Be vewy careful, dere R Mimes among us! ;)
I'm not the only one that reads that crap!!! I am a closet 'popculturephile'
Keep up the awesome posts. I love your sense of humor, and the way your mind works!
P.S. Be vewy careful, dere R Mimes among us! ;)
# posted by 
: 11/08/2006 11:33 AM
: 11/08/2006 11:33 AM
Hey Dan the man! Long time no read.
In downtown Memphis you can have dinner and a murder, oops I mean show, all in one lovely evening. Nice huh? We are up to like 150 homicides this year. Take that Detroit!
In downtown Memphis you can have dinner and a murder, oops I mean show, all in one lovely evening. Nice huh? We are up to like 150 homicides this year. Take that Detroit!
# posted by : 11/14/2006 12:38 PM
: 11/14/2006 12:38 PM
Welcome back, laney.
150 homicides, wow. That's a lot. I think we surpassed 150 on January 7th.
I also think I heard some politician talking about outsourcing homicide to somewhere cheaper, like Malaysia, but unfortunately he didn't get the whole sentence out before he was gunned down.
We sprinkle BBQ sauce on our homicide victims and eat them.
Take that, Memphis.
150 homicides, wow. That's a lot. I think we surpassed 150 on January 7th.
I also think I heard some politician talking about outsourcing homicide to somewhere cheaper, like Malaysia, but unfortunately he didn't get the whole sentence out before he was gunned down.
We sprinkle BBQ sauce on our homicide victims and eat them.
Take that, Memphis.
Per the FBI:
“Expanding beyond city limits for rankings by metropolitan areas, the study showed that the Detroit-Livonia-Dearborn, Michigan, area was the most dangerous, followed by Memphis, Tennessee”
Take that, New York!
We should buy matching bulletproof vests! We would look so cute!
I’m not trying to hate on anyone but… Our homicides really went up after hurricane Katrina. The “Chocolate City” must have sent it’s finest refugees to Memphis.
“Expanding beyond city limits for rankings by metropolitan areas, the study showed that the Detroit-Livonia-Dearborn, Michigan, area was the most dangerous, followed by Memphis, Tennessee”
Take that, New York!
We should buy matching bulletproof vests! We would look so cute!
I’m not trying to hate on anyone but… Our homicides really went up after hurricane Katrina. The “Chocolate City” must have sent it’s finest refugees to Memphis.
# posted by : 11/14/2006 3:28 PM
: 11/14/2006 3:28 PM
Heya Dantelope, followed you here from MB's posts.
It's interesting reading your stuff about Michigan as one of my best friend's lives in Grand Rapids, has an Irish store called "Lynch's Lair" there and is feeling the bite of the poor economy.
Anyway, I digress ;). I'm very much enjoying reading your posts and must make it to Michigan some time to visit said friend and perhaps sample some of the BBQ-sauce flavoured homocide victims ;).
It's interesting reading your stuff about Michigan as one of my best friend's lives in Grand Rapids, has an Irish store called "Lynch's Lair" there and is feeling the bite of the poor economy.
Anyway, I digress ;). I'm very much enjoying reading your posts and must make it to Michigan some time to visit said friend and perhaps sample some of the BBQ-sauce flavoured homocide victims ;).
Welcome to the club, buxom; glad to have you here.
Grand Rapids is far enough away from Detroit so as to have its own reasons for a recession outside of the auto industry. That said, they do homicide with the best of 'em.
Try the 186, I hear it's delicious.
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Grand Rapids is far enough away from Detroit so as to have its own reasons for a recession outside of the auto industry. That said, they do homicide with the best of 'em.
Try the 186, I hear it's delicious.
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