The Twisted Rantings of the Dantelope

Webkinz. Evil, evil Webkinz. I know you're looking at me at night. Undressing me with your animal stare. Licking your lips. Wondering... just wondering... how I might taste chewed up and spit back out onto a nice bed of lettuce. Waiting, waiting for your ideal moment to pounce. I'm on to you.

Saturday night. A feel-good moment. At a mall. Unusual for a man, I know, but nonetheless. With my wife. Feeling good. Oh look, a Hallmark! Thinking of Firstborn. What's this? A Webkinz? How nice! How fetching! And only $7? Here, my good man, keep the change.

Sunday. Another feel-good moment. At home, this time. With Firstborn. I have a surprise for you. You do? I do. What is it? Tada! Oh YEAH! A Webkinz! He knows. He's heard from his friends. Names it Puppy. How original. Upstairs before I know what hit me.

Logging in. Typing the secret code. Being drawn in. Look at all the fun things! The games! The clothes! The food! The employment office! It's a lesson. No, it's many lessons. It'll be good for him.

Feeling strange. Sunday night. Someone's watching me, but who? Looking around. Can't shake it. It's everywhere. What's this Webkinz doing here? Thought I left it upstairs. Hmmm. Put it back upstairs. Sleep not so well.

Monday morning. Firstborn playing with Webkinz before school. Woke up early, unusual. Very excited. Perhaps too excited. Absorbed. Almost late for school. Just one more arcade game with Puppy, Dad?

Eating breakfast downstairs. Firstborn at school. Feeling strange again. Look around but see noone. Except. Puppy. Downstairs again. Staring at me. Something dripping from his mouth. Red substance. What is that? Touch it. Smell it. Is this blood? Oh. My. GOD!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!

--- Dantelope @ nobody-can-hear-you-scream-in-Webkinz

Labels: firstborn, webkinz