The Twisted Rantings of the Dantelope

There were so many great memories from when I was in high school... and these are not some of them:

1. Mystery meat. That fantastic concoction of all things Monday thru Thursday rebaked into a most intriguing smelter of sizzling unknown. What is it? Is it chicken? turkey? hamburger? Sausage? Oh no, it most certainly is not. It's chikurkyburgausage.
   
   
2. Championship paper football. Never has an ophthalmologist been more aghast than when kids begin to fire triangular paper missiles at each other in an effort to score a touchdown between fingers that are spaced in a very exact "eh, about this much" kind of way. I am personally responsible for several folks in the Detroit metro area looking like pirates.
   
   
3. eXtreme gossip. I'm not sure how it didn't make it into the Olympics this time around, but you have never met athletes like schoolgirls. I once saw a girl's head spontaneously combust when the heat from her rapidly moving jawbone ignited her hairspray. Opa!
   
   
4. Gum in impossible places. Nothing fascinated me more than seeing the unusual -- and seemingly implausible -- places where gum would end up. Sure, everyone's seen it under the chair and desk... in the toilet... and even on the walls. But I've seen gum on the ceiling. And inside the light fixtures. And on the bottom of the pool! I mean, this kind of creativity just shouldn't be overlooked by academia!
   
   
5. Rich kids and their cars. While I drove around in a rusting blue Malibu station wagon with 5 out of 6 cylinders firing and fine blue upholstery interior, I always enjoyed watching the wealthier kids displaying their opulence. Like the time Scott drove his brand new blue Mustang GT convertible into the parking lot retaining wall. And then got a brand new blue Corvette convertible to replace it.... and, naturally, drove that into the wall, too. And then was seen riding around in his grandfather's Ferarri 328GTS. Yes, because this is the kind of driver I want to entrust a six digit figure to. If I were grandpa I would have at least covered the car with 15" of rubber first.
   

Share with the class, now.


---- Dantelope @ i-used-to-taper-my-jeans-with-safety-pins